D. Brunner, My Role Model
D. Brunner has been one of the most important role models in my life. I often ask myself, “What would DB do right now?” He is an artist of life, a seeker of meaning, a true human.
“Once you have met a true human being, let him not disappear from the horizon of your heart.”
― Rumi
D. Brunner, the way I see him, aspires to wisdom and simplicity (the Sage), to the pursuit of the divine presence (the Pilgrim), to moral integrity and love (the Saint), and to self-discipline and resilience (the Athlete). A good life, for him, means to grow into all the four archetypes.
Accordingly, he is an essentialist to the core, one fully committed to a minimalist philosophy. As such, he makes sure that the "life-table" stays clear of that which is unimportant, trivial, or merely good. He treasures the gift of time with reverence.
He understands the centrality of attention and mindfulness—the sine qua non of the good life. To that end, he fiercely pushes against forces such as busyness, noise, and distractions and protects precious moments of solitude and silence essential for life-reflectivity.
Not surprisingly, he nurtures a sense of wonder expressed in gratitude. Not in the sense of cheap positivity thinking or minimizing the reality of pain and suffering; he is no sentimentalist. Rather, he is a “yes-sayer,” one who affirms beauty and goodness even in difficult circumstances.
There is a lightness about him, a deep sense of rootedness and contentment as if he has already arrived, already found his destination. There is no restlessness in him, no co-dependency. Absent too is any spirit of self-promotion.
He views the good life in holistic terms: spirituality (devotion and surrender to God); fitness (strength, endurance, and mobility); mental health (positivity, stress-reduction, mindfulness); nutrition (in his case, a plant-based diet); relationships and community; vocational excellence; connection to nature; and simplicity. His commitment to wholeness is the flip side of his reverence for life (Schweitzer).
For him, "life to the fullest" is not a matter of accident, something that happens by default. He is committed to the craft of living and willingly pays any price it might exact on him. Like St. Paul, he trains himself “unto godliness.”
Consequently, he understands that discipline is the path to freedom. In other words, competency, achievement, mastery, and the reaching of goals require commitment, intentionality, self-sacrifice, focus, and the saying of “no” to alternatives.
He speaks what he thinks, in wisdom, truth, and courage. He is a model of integrity and authenticity. He is ruthlessly honest with himself but in a spirit of self-compassion.
While organized, he is flexible following the "mind like water principle." After all, what matters to him are not rules or schedules, but rather a connection with that which is the most valuable at any given moment.
He understands that every choice matters and leverages the principle of compound interest to its utmost, particularly when it comes to the question of habit-formation. That is why he is always after tiny improvements, those 1% changes that eventually add up to transformative states.
He is not intimidated by valleys of doubt, emptiness, and the absence of motivation. He knows that they are illusions and mirages, siren voices of the Id. While he cannot control such emotions as they have a physiological life of their own, he observes them "from above," as it were, bemused at their claims.
He is resilient and is regularly recalling the journey that made him into what he is. He responds to difficult situations by saying, "Good!" Not in the sense of some amoral indifference or cheap positivity thinking, but rather from a position of courage and growth-mindset. In most circumstances, he exhibits the quality of anti-fragility (Nassim Taleb).
That is why he carefully watches over his words, knowing that speech creates reality. As best as he can, he refuses to speak negativity and defeat into existence.
He believes that mistakes are opportunities to learn from. When they happen, he analyzes them and then adjusts his approach (timing, context, strategy, attitude, etc.). That’s what craftsmanship is.
He constantly goes for things that he doesn't want to do. That is how he callouses his mind and confronts the laziness impulse; the proclivity for comfort, pain avoidance procrastination, and instant gratification so endemic to human nature.
He is not dependent on the opinion of others. He knows who he is, what his values are, where he is going as a son of God. Insults leveled against him are met either by silence or self-deprecating humor. And yet, he is all too aware of his self-ignorance and how dependent he is on the feedback and guidance of others. His indebtedness to moral and spiritual exemplars knows no bounds.
And above all, he sees love—the love of God, others, and self—as the animating force and moral center of the universe. Kindness and compassion are the defining virtues of his character.
Thus when you talk to him, you are surprised by how fully present and attentive he is. He exudes an emphatic concern that is hospitable and healing.
But above all, he basks in God's fondness for him. He sees himself swimming in the ocean of infinite love. What can touch such a man?
