Perhaps just one additional caveat. Generally, I am not a fan of texts laced with hyperlinks. I find them distracting and unnecessarily bloated. In this case, however, the nature of the document merits some referencing. Meaning, its manifesto-like feel might call for a more studious and reflective reading, one that is ideally attempted in several takes over a period of time and in conversation with networked sources. I might be wrong in so thinking, but there it is.
The significance of kairos or critical moments as special visitations of grace. We should grab hold of those opportunities, those life-intersections when latent energies of the human spirit are on the move. All the usual spoofing of New Year’s resolutions aside, the change of the calendar year is a ritualized event with much potential if approached the right way. Why not make the best of it?
As a run-up to January 1, I suggested doing a life audit by answering four questions: What resolutions did I make in the past, and how did I fare with them? Where does my time regularly go? (Use a time tracker for one week at least. You will be surprised!) What are my greatest weaknesses? (Be very specific in putting them on paper.) What habits do I have? (Use a habit tracker for at least a week). Given that we are woefully obtuse when it comes to knowing ourselves, exercises in conscientization (pardon the term) are a must. All genuine change begins with some measure of self-knowledge.
Furthermore, clarify your core values, paying special attention to matters of identity. What would you like to achieve? Who would you like to be? In particular, what character traits would you like to possess? (I discuss my identity values here.) Exercise: write your own obituary based on who you are right now. What does your write-up reveal?
Procrastination often has to do with either lacking a clear sense of purpose or having self-doubt. Clarify the first, combat the second. If the cause is deep burnout, i.e., the result of accumulated stress, chronic tiredness, lack of planning, poor nutrition, overcommitment, etc., a more comprehensive life evaluation might be called for.
As Wendy Wood nicely describes it in her Good Habits, Bad Habits, there is a basic tension between cognitive and behavioral approaches in psychology. Their primary focus is on cognition and automatized routines, respectively. (OK, I am oversimplifying things, but such a basic typology does offer a helpful reference point.) Both have their role to play, of course. We plan, have goals, visualize, etc., and we need requisite habits that will sustain us in achieving those desired outcomes. The problem comes when either aspect is neglected.
These two forms of processing use different sets of neural circuitries that work independently of each other. The automatic processing is less energy-demanding, which partially explains why habits take over during “hot states” such a busyness, lethargy, tiredness, anxiety, and so on. (For a good clarifying resource, check out “Why Willpower Fails You,” including the issue of restraint bias.)
In so far as motivation rests on heightened psychological states, it will eventually evaporate. In that regard, Meg Robins is right when she says that “motivation is garbage.”
That being the case, do not rely on white-knuckled, will power-driven approaches to change. They will fail you. The goal is to move from relying on decisions to automaticity. (For an excellent resource on the topic, check out the Hidden Brain episode featuring Wendy Wood.) As William James famously put it in his The Principles of Psychology: “The more of the details of our daily life we can hand over to the effortless custody of automatism, the more our higher powers of mind will be set free for their own proper work.”
It might do well here to summarize the various strands so far by defining habit as “automaticity in lieu of conscious motivation” (Wood, 44). Also, and this is eye-opening, “habits are a kind of action that is relatively insensitive to reward.”
There is this illusion in connection with decision-making where the excitement about desired outcomes gives you the reward upfront. You already see yourself as having the desired physique, for instance, and that feels great. Of course, things will be way different once you commence on the journey. The initial excitement will be gone, the emerging habit will feel boring or hard, and you will enter a stage of motivational haziness. Don’t be tricked by the black hole of despondency. Persist, and discipline will bring you freedom—did you think I would skip on Jocko Willink?—as mastery invariably does.
That issue, in turn, connects to the “plateau of latent potential” problem. As James Clear notes, “in the early and middle stages of any quest, there is often a Valley of Disappointment. You expect to make progress in a linear fashion and it’s frustrating how ineffective changes can seem during the first days, weeks, and even months. It doesn’t feel like you are going anywhere. It’s a hallmark of any compounding process: the most powerful outcomes are delayed” (Atomic Habits, 20). We need to be ready for that.
That is why I spent time on the hot-cold empathy gap (an aspect of affective forecasting). It is a real challenge to envision future emotional states or life disturbances and the way they will affect even the best of resolutions. Nothing new here. There is a reason why the Devil tempts Jesus at the end of his forty-day fast.
The linked article in the paragraph above also notes the following: “Understand that you are going to be put in those situations where it will take a lot of willpower to act, so give your future self some assistance by planning how you will deal with temptations ahead of time.” One important strategy to aid us in that regard is to practice precommitment. As Tierney and Baumeister put it, “the essence of this strategy is to lock yourself into a virtuous path. You recognize that you’ll face terrible temptations to stray from the path, and that your willpower will weaken. So you make it impossible—or somehow unthinkably disgraceful or sinful—to leave the path. Precommitment is what Odysseus and his men used to get past the deadly songs of the Sirens” (151). Check out the stickK app or something along those lines as a possible option.
And that is why it is good to focus on regularity rather than on the amount of doing something. For instance, it is better to read every day irrespective of the duration than to set the number of books you want to read in a month. In so doing, you remove the friction of decision-making. And besides, you will almost certainly end up reading more.
Put differently, habits that are regular—preferably daily ones during set times—will take root the quickest. Like plants, habits flourish best with regular nourishment.
On the issue of friction, we drastically underestimate the importance of contexts for developing new habits. By “contexts,” I mean facets such as environment, cues, set times, and rituals. A formation-friendly context is one that removes frictions in respect to good habits (e.g., the desk cleaned the evening before, file opened on your computer, a favorite drink at hand, a specific time, etc., if we use the example of writing) and adds friction in respect to bad ones (e.g., the Freedom app set to start automatically for the duration of planned writing, etc.).
Of course, the significance of implementation intention cannot be overstated. The when, where, how often, and how long of making a decision needs to be crystal clear. (See step four in “How Habits Work,” or just Google about it.) Having an accountability partner is an added bonus.
Here important principles of habit-stacking and immediate rewards are crucial. (I talk about that from personal experience in my latest podcast episode “On Contexts and Rituals.”)
I am quite partial to the importance of mini-habits and the resulting suggestion: scale down your new habits to a minimum level (e.g., exercising 4 min. every day) where you can do them even during your most disruptive days.
Combine the mini-habits mentality with a streaks approach. An app such as Streaks or a simple wall calendar where you cross out days with a red Sharpie are good ways of doing so.
Also, take seriously the 1% rule, i.e., the commitment to tiny, regular improvements. The principle of compound interest is powerful in all domains of life.
Tie desired changes to your identity. James Clear writes: “Each habit is like a suggestion: ‘Hey, maybe this is who I am.’ If you finish a book, then perhaps you are the type of person who likes reading. If you go to the gym, then perhaps you are the type of person who likes exercise. If you practice playing the guitar, perhaps you are the type of person who likes music. Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity” (Atomic Habits, 38).
With that in mind, I subscribe to the progressive (and sometimes radical) extremism as explained by Nir Eyal. As I wrote about it before, decide on one thing, however minimal, that you will do for the rest of your life. Once something has become second nature, move it up a notch. And so on, and so on.
At the same time, if something has a hold on you, a radical, cold-turkey break or detox might be needed. With me, it was sugar. Incrementalism didn’t help. I had to make a drastic change of never ever eating any added sugar again. Not only does this make things simpler for me—I find it way easier to say no to eating a piece of cake than having to say “no” to the second one—but as an addict, I need clear bright lines. And no, eating sugar in moderation will never be an option for me. (Again, restraint bias.)
A good place to start with resetting our lives is to start with a bottom-up approach (strategies, operation procedures, etc.) rather than a top-down one (visions, goals, etc.) While the second aspect is essential, you need first to tilt the soil, so to speak.
One excellent bottom-up strategy is to get a handle on our time more generally and time-management more specifically. In that regard, I highly recommend Cal Newport’s time-block planning approach. (For starters, see here and here).
From there, you take the next step to create clear morning and evening rituals, shut-down routines, weekly reviews, quarterly planning, and so on. I talk about it in my last episode of the mini-series. See also “Importance of Daily Rituals.”
And then, perhaps, have a digital declutter in January or February. For those of you who believe in fasting and are Christians, perhaps you could combine the declutter with a Daniel Fast. Alternatively, experimenting with short-term water-only fasts (3-5 days) or some type of intermittent fasting will also yield unbelievable health and spiritual dividends. (On the question of fasting, Drs. Valter Longo, Jason Fung, and Michael Greger are important voices.)
In so doing, you will be most likely stumble upon some keystone habits that will have a ripple effect on your life. (See here and here on keystone habits.) Leverage them for all their potential!
Have a craftsmanship approach to life. That means at least three things. First, regularly think about strategies along the lines suggested above. Second, have regular (weekly, at least) after-action reports to review how you are doing. And third, remember that resolutions are not about immediate mastery but a constant refinement of the craft of living.
In that spirit, be realistic about how much to take on at any given time. As Tierney and Baumeister suggested, “focus on one project at a time. If you set more than one self-improvement goal, you may succeed for a while by drawing on reserves to power through, but that just leaves you more depleted and more prone to serious mistakes later” (37).
Keep in mind that there are no hard and fast rules. Although there some universal features of human nature, no one can tell us exactly what will work for us. We need to try, experiment, fail, and learn important lessons along the way. Remember, there is no stasis, no final arrival on this earth. That too is at the heart of the craft of living.
Finally, a spiritual coda that I hold on to with a verve: “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
